Afraid to take the step forward

I'll be graduating in like 4 weeks, right now I'm looking at couple of jobs opening on the internet. There are several interesting one that I might apply for. But somehow, there is this spine tingling experience down my spine whenever I thought I would have to spend the next 5 - 6 years doing the same thing over and over again. And I have to keep doing it so that I can buy groceries, connect to the internet, get a mortgage and buy feisty new gadget.

I have problem picturing myself as a white collar worker, walking through wynyard or even somewhere in Orchard Road. My gut tells me something is wrong here, this is not the right path for me to take still I need to take it because that's what everyone does.

I'm so confused

Sleep deprived zombie

This week is really mad, I started work at 1 pm to 7 pm one evening. After that I had a group meeting until 10 pm. When I got back home I slept woke up at 10 am, I got up and start my shift at 1 pm until 1 am doing stocktake for the store. I thought that by 1 am I would be able to go home but the store is missing $ 13,000 worth of stocks, we are then kept by the area manager to keep counting stock until 3 am before we decide to fuck it and go home straight away.

I slept like at 4 am, woke up at 9 am continue to work on my presentation until 3 pm. I then attend meeting at 7 pm until 10 pm.

When you don't have enough sleep, adrenalin kicks in, your body's muscle feels like it is wasting. I can't sleep. I should get a real good shower right now ( right now is like 12:10 am) officially I only slept for 5 hours in 48 hours time. My muscle is sore, my hand can't stop typing.

I'm a walking zombie